One of our favorite games to play here at PWDI is “Would You Rather,” in which we list two perturbed, mind-melting options and force each other to decide which seems least horrifying. Like, having monkey AIDS, OR getting cornered at a party by the guy who takes eight hours to tell the story of his cat’s leaky hemorrhoids which could have been distilled down to 27 equally excruciating seconds, after you’ve just dropped all the brown acid.
Tough call. Monkey AIDS would be pretty bad, what with all the shedding and stuff, but ultimately, getting stuck listening to Long-Winded Larry mumble on about the situation of migrant workers in South Guadalajara as they relate to season one of the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer when all we asked was “where’s the bathroom?” takes the proverbial urinal cake. In case you missed that, we’re saying we’d rather the monkey AIDS.
Taking care of this rambler requires precision. Wait for a breathy pause or break in conversation and you might still be standing there when your great grandchildren go through menopause. So, shake your polite willingness to avoid interrupting and hijack this conversation with a quippy one liner to the abdomen. He’ll be long-winded alright…as in winded for a long time…get it?
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